FAUX NEWS NETWORK
We make it up so you don't have to
FNN Congressional reporter Stacey Conundrum filed this report. Congress has called for an outright ban on a new drug. The drug, called Perfecto from Shoestring Pharmaceuticals, is currently prescribed to eliminate persistent problems with ingrown toenails. Unfortunately, an unanticipated and troubling side-effect has been found according to new research.
The research revealed that the use of the drug for as short a period as one month greatly increases the brain's ability to solve difficult problems. Already, these drug users have applied for patents for cars that run on air, novel anti-cancer treatments, inexpensive but powerful pollution controls and a design that uses worm holes for faster-than-light space travel.
These creative ideas have alarmed a large number of industries who see their products become obsolete or irrelevant and their profits disappearing.
Corporate lobbyists have swarmed over Congress and made their unhappiness known. Congress has responded by launching a dozen committees and subcommittees to investigate the drugs side-effects and analyze the dangers of continued use.
Meanwhile, Congressional leaders are not waiting for the committee reports. Legislation has been introduced that will immediately ban the drug until the side-effect can be eliminated. Congressional observers say the new bill will pass both the House and the Senate without opposition from either Party.
Shoestring Pharmaceuticals says their is drug safe and they are working to isolate the cause of the brain power increase.
The National Security Agency has called for Congress to seize the company and turn over all corporate information to NSA for national security reasons.
Ms. Conundrum will continue to monitor this situation.
Hank Quense is the author of 50 published short stories along with four novels and three collections of stories. All of these are humorous and/or satiric scifi and fantasy. In the non-fiction area, he has over a dozen articles published on fiction writing and he's the author of the Fiction Writing Guides series and the Self-publishing Guides series. Both series consist of a number of ebooks. The Fiction Writing Guides and the Self-Publishing Guides are an outgrowth of his lectures on both subjects.